A proper Jewish upbringing? I\u2019m not so sure. My husband Thomas and I have really tried, but well, you never know exactly whether your children come out nicely. At least: not with our son Lou, who always sat on his chair backwards during Jewish lessons and had already eaten a sandwich at 11.00 during Yom Kippur. \nBut a while ago, he did actually surprise us. <\/p>\n\n
After Lou had initially rejected the concept of \u2018sitting in a classroom, on a chair, behind a table, with thirty other people\u2019 during his adolescence, he suddenly summoned us around his sixteenth birthday for a Serious Conversation.<\/p>\n\n
\u2018I have wasted my whole youth,\u2019 he cried. \u2018My whoooole youuuuth!\u2019 While other boys his age had basically finished their academic degree, he, Louden, had nothing to boast about except his swim diploma. The message: he wanted to go back to school. That school would become, after much rambling and talking, MBO level 1, also called the \u2018Entry Degree\u2019: a place where everyone who had not been successful before for whatever reason could get a Basic Dutch Qualification. On the first day, Lou got home from school in excitement. <\/p>\n\n
\u2018How was it?\u2019 I asked. \u2018Great,\u2019 he replied. \u2018We\u2019re in class with 26 people, the main language is Arabic and I went to the toilet with the Palestine\u2019s.\u2019 \u2018Well, well. That really sounds great.\u2019 He hesitated for a second. \u2018Mum, would you mind if I won\u2019t hang out with the Palestines as much?\u2019 <\/p>\n\n
I opened my mouth, ready with some warning about prejudices and the danger of generalizations \u2013 \u2018\u2026because they constantly want to go to the toilet, and that\u2019s where drugs are being dealt.\u2019 I closed my mouth. \u2018So I was thinking, maybe I should just hang out with the Afghans and the Iranian Kurds more. They\u2019re really nice.\u2019 \u2018That\u2026 sounds like a good idea,\u2019 I said. <\/p>\n\n
Two weeks later we saw how Louden packed his skullcap along with his books and his lunch in the morning. \u2018I\u2019m bringing my kippah,\u2019 he explained with a shrug. \u2018During Politics we often discuss religion and identity. Barely anyone in my class has ever seen a Jew in real life. They didn\u2019t think I was \u2013 Jewish, I mean. Maybe I won\u2019t wear it, but I want to have it with me at least. <\/p>\n\n
For the first time, I saw my son through the eyes of an outsider: his tall frame, the self-aware attitude, the generous smile, the steel muscles from kickboxing and the dark eyes. An oppressive feeling came over me, a systematic fear of being found out, for exclusion and prosecution, stored in the cells of my body. <\/p>\n\n
\u2018If that\u2019s what you want, you should just do it,\u2019 Thomas eventually said. A few days later I was cooking, when the back door opened and Lou stumbled inside. He was covered in bruises, had a limp as well as a swollen jaw. \tThere you had it. My biggest fear had become reality. <\/p>\n\n
\u2018Good lord, what in G\u2019ds name happened to you!?\u2019 I shouted. <\/p>\n\n
\u2018I fought.\u2019<\/p>\n\n
\u2018Moses! With whom?\u2019<\/p>\n\n
\u2018With the Kurds.\u2019<\/p>\n\n
\u2018But those were your friends?\u2019<\/p>\n\n
\u2018They are. We did some boxing in the gym. They were better.\u2019 <\/p>\n\n
And while he arduously walked upstairs to shower I heard him say: \u2018So awesome. I\u2019ll go back tomorrow.\u2019 \n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A proper Jewish upbringing? I\u2019m not so sure. My husband Thomas and I have really tried, but well, you never know exactly whether your children come out nicely. At least: not with our son Lou, who always sat on his chair backwards during Jewish lessons and had already eaten a sandwich at 11.00 during Yom […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":14587,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[34],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14382","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog-dutch"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/judithfanto.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14382","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/judithfanto.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/judithfanto.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/judithfanto.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/judithfanto.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14382"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/judithfanto.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14382\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14383,"href":"https:\/\/judithfanto.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14382\/revisions\/14383"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/judithfanto.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14587"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/judithfanto.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14382"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/judithfanto.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14382"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/judithfanto.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14382"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}